So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
