Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
