I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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