'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
