K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
