A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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