just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
