Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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