You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
