If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
