I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
