should my penis look like a turkey
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My breasts were aching with rage.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize