can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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