Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
