I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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