I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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