well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
