why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
