i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
