What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
