im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
