And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
