Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
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