dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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