she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
