farters have to be the big spoon...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize