these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
