I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize