I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
