is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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