well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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