Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize