My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
