you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
