nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
