I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
