I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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