i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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