if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
