I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
