I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
