Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
