we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
