That's intense
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
