I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize