We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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