I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
