Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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