Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
