There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
