apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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