Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
