You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
