When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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