grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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