Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
