So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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