After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
