i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
