In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
