She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize