I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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