I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
