Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
