i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize