Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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