Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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