We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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