One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
