Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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