If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
