So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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