So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
