I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
