Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
